WOMEN STATUS

Thailand is a both conservative and modern country. Thai women status is twisted between traditional / conservative and modern / western views. This page tries to describe both views on some topics linked to Thai women status.

• Wedding with Thai natives
  1. Conservative status
  1. Not so long ago and still in some families, wedding are arranged by parents.
  2. Forced marriage sometimes happen among poor parents who need money to cope with poverty.
  2. Modern status
  1. Modern Thai women refuse that their parents find a husband that they don't love. Nowadays as children often leave the house to find a job in big cities, the young boys and girls prefer to choose their mate.
• Wedding with foreigners
  1. Conservative status
  1. Many Thai people has a bad image of weddings between Thai women and foreigner men. Still many Thai people think wrongly that foreigners only marry bar girls. When walking in the street with a Thai woman, such Thai sentences as "You don't like soup rice anymore but ham and eggs instead" or "Hey little sister, Thai shall help Thai, help us to take profit of the money of this foreigner" can be heard.
  2. To Thais, especially in rural areas, a commonly held prejudice of a Thai woman walking with a Westerner is that the woman must be in the sex industry and the man her customer. It might be grossly unfair, but that is the perceived wisdom.
  3. To the many thousands of Isan women who leave their villages and end up marrying a foreigner, it brings burdens. Some have to tolerate insults, all have to bear a certain stigma. But the reality behind marrying outside their culture is the economic and social advantages it brings to the country.
  2. Modern status
  1. In Germany more than 30 000 Thai women are married to German men. But also in many other countries Thai women marry westerner men. For some of these women it might be a solution to escape a certain poverty in Thailand, a way to increase their social status and way of living.
  2. Thai women who marry Westerners are now being looked up to, instead of down at.
• Dating
  1. Conservative status
  1. Thai dating is not similar to Western dating. Teenagers can be boyfriend-girlfriend without a kiss or holding hands during several years. When time has come, the boy speaks about the girl to his parents and they might agree or disagree. And the boy cannot go against his parents' decision.
  2. Explicit love gestures might be inappropriate in Thai culture.
  2. Modern status
  1. Dating is very common now in Thailand and youngsters don't just devote their life to the first boyfriend/girlfriend that they meet.
  2. Explicit acts of love like holding hands, embracing, and kissing in public are no longer taboo in the eyes of teenagers.
  3. A "GIK" - กิ๊ก is more than a friend. But it is less than a boyfriend or girlfriend. Having a "GIK" is based on a mutual attraction and exchange (friendship, sex and so on..). A "GIK" is a casual affair where both parties understand obviously the limits of the relationship.
• Premarital sex
  1. Conservative status
  1. In Thailand it is unacceptable for any conservative couples to have sex before they get married. Thai people usually link having sex with getting married. Thai culture doesn't allow boys and girls to stay overnight together even though they have no sex, except if they are in group of friends or family. Thai people wouldn't have sex before marriage while in a modern western couple, there is no commitment before having sex. It often said that "Man wants to be the first boy of his girlfriend while woman wants to be the last girl of her boyfriend".
  2. Values, attitudes and behaviour of many Thai teens were in crisis because of excessive Western influences promoted by the mass media. To combat sexual promiscuity among teens, a Thai senator said she would launch a public campaign to encourage students to remain chaste until marriage Conservatives blamed the media, Western culture and the disintegration of the family. They praise Thai values, in which women are expected to preserve their virginity and display sexual correctness.
  2. Modern status
  1. Sex or premarital sex is happening much more than conservatives think but it is not considered such a "dirty" thing any longer. Many couples live together before getting married, to test out their relationship.
  2. Under-age and pre-marital sex is no longer taboo as long as there is some restraint.
  3. In a changing Thai society the advent of casual sex is bad news for prostitutes as their potential customers increasingly engage in pre-marital sexual relationships. In 2001 the ministry of public health said a study of 10 000 sex workers revealed each woman had, on average, only one customer a night, compared to an average of 1,5 a night only three years ago and three customers a night before the Asian financial crisis. Only 10 percent of men in their twenties were willing to admit to frequenting brothels, a drop from 55 percent six years ago.
• Behavior
  1. Conservative status
  1. Thai women are not expected to smoke. Thai culture doesn't accept women smoking. Smoking is often linked to bad girls.
  2. Modern status
  1. Thai women are not prurient, passive. They are not educated to be skilful in massages. Thai people are shy. Parents educated them to mistrust strangers. A woman never accosts a stranger alone. If one behaves this way, she might have a strong idea in her mind. If a Thai woman smiles at you in the street, it is not at all an invitation. Smile is a way of greeting as Thailand is the Land of Smiles. Thai people might be puzzled at foreigner look (blond hairs, moustaches) or behavior.
• Rights
  1. Conservative status
  1. Abortion is illegal in Thailand under most circumstances (Exceptions are cases of rape or when the woman has been exposed to chemicals which could cause birth deformities). Nevertheless every year some 300 000 Thai women have illegal abortions. Women liberty is refrained.
  2. Some front pages of Thai newspapers often show crude pictures. In December 1999 the picture of a murdered rape victim almost completely naked appeared on the front page of the newspaper Thai Rath. This has launched an outcry against the newspaper. This shows that there is still big work for women not to be considered like sexual objects.
  2. Modern status
  1. In Thailand there are intense debates on reforming the highly restrictive laws.
• Work
  1. Conservative status
  1. Thai society is still a society for men. In Buddhist conception, being a woman is less valued than being a man. Women still not have the same rights and same position in society as men. Thai women have not the power but are always the family head and take care about children and finances.
  2. Some Thai rich women or business women don't marry and stay single. Why should they marry? Thai society says that if they are rich, they don't need a husband. Some Thai men don't like intelligent women.
  3. Husbands shall of course take care and support their wife. For the wife, receiving nice gifts from her husband is important. She is able to show off to the society. As foreigners husbands are seen like rich people, a foreigner husband is expected to do better. Money is very important in Thai society. It is said that "When a Thai girl says I love you, it means I want you to take care of me". In the past, Thai women didn't work and depends on men.
  4. There is a significant gap between average salaries earned by men and women as a result of the concentration of women in traditionally lower paying jobs. Women made up only 12-13% of staff in government agencies and 30% in tambon administration organisations.
  2. Modern status
  1. There were 45 women among the 499 members of the House of Representatives, and 20 women in the 200 member Senate. There were 3 women in the 35 member Cabinet (2003 figures). The government aims to double the quota of women in parliament, administration, and TAOs in year 2006.
  2. In year 2003, Thai women are no longer required to take their husband's family name when they marry. The vast majority of the women nowadays work and contribute as much to the household income as the men, sometimes even more.
  3. Nowadays many Thai men treat their wife, provided love and affection to her, and even helps out with household chores. Many women work abroad as sewer, hair-dresser, waitress, cook, maid. It is a way to be independant and support their family.
• Divorce
  1. Conservative status
  1. It is often said that when a woman gets married, she loses her bargaining power towards her husband. Thai society is reluctant against women who get divorced. Many women don't divorce in order to avoid gossip and blame.
  2. Divorced women are still considered tainted goods
  3. Still a few years ago men could ask for divorce if their wives were unfaithful but the contrary was false. Under existing laws only men can seek to annul an engagement or file for a divorce while women have to first prove their husbands have provided financial support to another woman.
  4. A woman cannot charge her husband with rape. Ubiquitous soap operas advocate heroes raping their women as a means of expressing love.
  2. Modern status
  1. In year 2007, the National Legislative Assembly shall decide whether to eradicate "marital rape" from the law books.
• Family links
  1. Conservative status
  1. One cultural shock which happens between Thai wifes and foreign husbands is the need to support a remote family in Thailand. When a man marries a Thai girl, it means he also marries her family as well. Thai children are educated to respect their parents and support them. So money shall be sent to them. Otherwise everyone gossip that children have a stone heart ("CHAI DAM" - ใจดำ). Most Thai people don't understand why a beautiful house is not built for the mother in law. Most of them imagine that all the foreigners are rich.
  2. Traditionally, women are the caregivers for the elderly. But as they are now in the workforce, taking care of old parents means more stress and strain for working women.
  2. Modern status
  1. Many Thai people have their own apartment instead of living with their parents, however it doesn't mean that they are not close to their family and don't love or respect their parents.
• Education
  1. Conservative status
  1. Education is not important for women as they need to find a husband.
  2. Modern status
  1. Women go to college, enjoy great education and freedom.
  2. Thai Women had equal access to higher education. More than 50% of the year's university graduates are women.
• Women vision of men
  1. Conservative status
  1. It's not just the lure of financial security but the "bad habits" of Thai men, say those Thai women who have chosen Western men over their male compatriots for husbands.
  2. Thai women complain that Thai men prefer to have fun together ("PAI THIAW" - ไปเที่ยว) than going back home and take care about the family. After the monthly wages, Thai men are seen together in restaurants without their wives. They pretend having late meetings at the office and then they go to restaurants where there are singers, karaoke. Thai men have the bad reputation to be unfaithful and have sex with prostitutes. In 1999 sexual establishments increased to a number of 8,431 and a lot of these places are not in tourist towns like Patong, Patpong.
  3. Some Thai women complain about Thai men's bad habits, especially the drinking, gambling and womanising, which they describe as being irresponsible to the family.
  2. Modern status
  1. When talking to women "Why have you chosen a foreign husband ?". Many answer that foreigner men are more romantic, take care of their wife and tasks in the family are equally shared. The opinion of the wife is listened.
• Men vision of women
  1. Conservative status
  1. A famous Thai saying (ผัวเป็นช้างเท้าหน้า เมียเป็นช้างเท้าหลัง) says that the man is the "front elephant legs" and that the woman is the "behind elephant legs". It means that the man leads and the woman follows him.
• Faithfulness
  1. Conservative status
  1. Powerful and rich Thai men sometimes have a "MIA NOI" (เมียน้อย), a second unofficial wife. The man supports everything for her, supports her children but in front of the society she is not recognised. Powerful and influential men don't divorce but can have unofficially several minor wives. As long as he takes care of all of wives it is tolerated. This of course the Thai male point of view.
  2. In 2001 a study led by a Thai hospital revealed some insights on Thai men behavior on polygamy. The study showed that the typical Thai men who have minor wife or wives are mostly businessmen. The study showed that most women who become minor wives do so because they have become dependent on men and feel they do not have to work hard to be financially stable. Most of this group of women were aged 20-30 years and were college graduates. The study showed that 33% of all minor wives had problems of insecurity, while another 33% were lured into the situation by men who lied about their marital status. Most women wanted to end the marriage after learning about the minor wives, most men did not want to divorce their first wife.
  3. Fear of AIDS seems to have added to the appeal of a mistress. Sex with a mistress is supposed to be safer than with a prostitute or casual partner -- so the theory goes.
  4. In 2004, a survey, focusing on married men's extra-marital relations, was carried out among 1069 men. About 66.4% say they have sex with other women. More than 80% of respondents find it unacceptable for married women to have affairs or even date men without telling them they are married.
  5. Thai women were taught to be conservative and stay in at night.
  2. Modern status
  1. Most young Thai men and women nowadays are very self-confident, independent, and intelligent. There is a large number of Thais who are well traveled, educated, successful in their careers, and have a loving and supportive family.
  2. Some enraged wives have been known to attack their erring spouses with knives and chop their penis. A clinic in Bangkok is now specializing in re-attaching severed organs.
  3. University students and career women are often seen out together enjoying the nightlife.
• Clothing
  1. Conservative status
  1. In year 1998, Chulalongkorn University administrators has banned mini-skirs as they see them as an invitation for rape.
  2. In year 2004, Songkran revellers have been told to avoid spaghetti-strap tops.
  3. In year 2004, following the speed with which nipple stickers have become trendy among teenagers, Culture Minister asked the police and the Consumer Protection Board to closely monitor fashion shows and publications. Nipple stickers, an accessory popular among fashion models, have spun off the catwalk and gained popularity on the street, causing concern among conservatives that bras will become a thing of the past.
  4. In year 2006, coyote girls become a favourite entertainment at various events as their performances have extended from nightclubs to temple grounds. Coyote girls are dancing in skimpy outfits. So the Interior Ministry has asked provincial governors to curb inappropriate performances, especially at Buddhist sites and public events.
  5. In year 2007 actress and student Chotiros was rebuked for wearing a revealing outfit to the Subhanahongsa Awards, Thais version of the Oscars. She has attracted criticism because she is a liberal arts student at a leading university. The university rector said its students should be responsible not only to themselves but to the school and society. She had to perform community service as part of punishment meted out by Thammasat University.
  2. Modern status
  1. Dressing is an individual's right.

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